It’s been quite some time since I last blogged. It’s a new month. And it’s time to create a new habit.

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June 1: ‘A step you have taken towards your goals.’

For the past couple years, I haven’t thought too much about setting goals. I’ve thought a lot about changes in my life, but I don’t think I’ve ever sat down and written out a list of goals. But I do know I have some so maybe it’s time to see if I’m actually doing anything to help me achieve them.

I always told myself if I didn’t have my driver’s licence by the time I was 40, I would just do it. But I never did. Last year, when my youngest son (16) talked about getting his beginner’s, I decided I would just take the test with him. Why not? I was 41. Even though I really don’t want to drive, my goal is to pass my driving test — so I must practice driving this summer. One step.

Last year, I was overlooked for a promotion at work and, quite honestly, it stung. I was the best candidate for the job but politics were already in play.  Since then, many coworkers have left our company and I fear the place will never be the same, so my goal is to find a new position elsewhere, that will give me the opportunity to continue the type of work I do best — while still enjoying it. Every week I look at job postings in the area and submit resumes to companies and organizations I would be proud to work for; places I would be excited to go to every day. One step.

A few years ago, I remember having a goal of losing weight. I always thought weighing 150 lbs. was a good number for me — a number I haven’t seen since I was in university (and I graduated 20 years ago!). I started using apps to keep track of what I ate, how much exercise I was getting. I bought a new pair of running shoes, wanting to get outside more and walk daily. I joined a gym last year, in hopes I would find something that interested me, and encourage me to continue towards my bigger goal of being healthy. Unfortunately, I stopped tracking what I ate, never used those shoes and quit going to the gym. I would love to recommit myself to this goal of getting active and creating a healthier lifestyle, so I think just writing this down is a step in the right direction. 

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June 2: ‘Something good from last week’

I’m always one who looks for the little things in life; the small things that make life worth living; the moments that make me smile. But I found myself struggling to think back to the past week to remember something good that happened. 

I checked my Facebook posts and Twitter feed, since I do like to share when good things happen to me: I figure, if people see nice or exciting things happening to someone else, they may be more likely to look for or enjoy these things when and if they happen to them. Who knows for sure, but that’s how I feel! 

Well, I came across a reminder that the weather was amazing in London, that last weekend in May. Jamie and I took a long walk in his neighbourhood, along the creek and through the park. We had stopped a few times during our walk and saw a beaver and a family of ducks (with 11 ducklings!). It was such a relaxing time and I really do love spending time with him. 

When we arrived home, I looked out the back window and noticed the amazing sunset. So many things I love, I had just been lucky enough to experience them — time with a loved one, a nature walk, and this sunset. Life is good.

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June 3: ‘A time when you were frightened’

The thing about being scared: I rarely put myself into these situations. I don’t particularly like heights, so I’ve never ridden a roller coaster or gone skydiving. Scary movies just don’t interest me like comedies or dramas do, so I just don’t watch them. The only thing that gets my heart beating when frightened is when I dream.

And I’m not even sure how much thought I put into my dreams — when I can actually remember them. But occasionally, I wake up and get that frightened feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like something terrible had just happened or I am extremely anxious (or scared) for something about to happen. Maybe it’s not really fear then. Just thoughts going through my brain after experiencing something while dreaming.

I admit, I do get scared when the dogs run into the parking lot when they aren’t on leashes, just as I used to get scared that my boys would run into the road after a ball that got away (luckily they never did such a thing!). I still get frightened when I see a huge spider on the ceiling in my shower or trying to crawl out of the leaf bag I had just filled with leaves (both of which just happened this week!). And I do get scared, or worried, when thinking about the future sometimes — will my boys finish their education and find jobs they truly like; will I be able to afford fixing up and selling my house; how will my upcoming job interviews go? But these are just life’s worries, not anything to really be frightened of. 

Maybe I just don’t scare easy? In any case, I’m still going to avoid scary movies!

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June 4: ‘A really good idea’

Hmmm. Ice cream for breakfast?

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June 5: ‘The books in your to-read list.’

I have three, but I’m currently in the middle of one of them.

The Happiness Project was a year-long pursuit by author Gretchen Rubin to resolve on finding ways to add more happiness to her days or appreciate the happiness already in her life. I’ve been reading it month-by-month, to see if her resolutions or findings inspire me to make changes in my life.

The other two books on my list are Doctor Who: The Legends of Ashilor and Sherlock: The Essential Arthur Conan Doyle Adventures. Let’s just say I’m a bit of a British sci-if fan. 

I do have a wish-list started, most likely for the fall, but Everything That Remains: A Memoir is at the top of it.

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June 6: ‘Something to remember’

Follow your dreams, believe in yourself and don’t give up.

I had dreams of being a teacher when I was growing up. Unfortunately, school counsellors suggested I could be something else, then having to pay bills to live on my own required a permanent job, which in the end, happened to have nothing to do with teaching or what I studied at university. I’ve been employed at the same company for 20 years.

I know I’m a dedicated worker, I always strive to do more than what is asked and give at least 120% effort into everything I do. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough confidence in myself and I saw it today, while interviewing for a new job.

I have passion for what I believe in; I am more than capable in learning new programs and skills; I have an amazing work ethic. If only I could convey this more clearly to others. But . . . I will never give up in finding that perfect job for me. With a company who appreciates the work I do. It’s now become a dream for me — to love the work I do and love the company I’m with. Some day.

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June 7: ‘The best thing about your day’

Before my afternoon shift today, I left my house a bit early wanting to spend some time downtown before work. There is this amazing park (Victoria Park), in the middle of the downtown core and I love walking through it. 

In the winter the trees are decorated with Christmas lights and there is a skating rink in the middle of it. In the fall, the leaves changing colours is so beautiful to see. Summer is always busy with weekend festivals bringing thousands of people to the park.

Since it’s still spring and the festivals haven’t begun yet, the park is quiet, beautiful and . . . fresh. People spend their lunch breaks walking the paths or drinking coffee and checking their phones while sitting on the park benches. As I started strolling down the paths, I came across a few high school students practising their music. Central secondary students, as their cases displayed. As I continued walking, I noticed there were a number of groups of students spread throughout the park, all playing such beautiful music. Violins, violas, cellos. It felt like I was being serenaded while walking through the park. 

Definitely the best thing that happened to me today!

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June 8: ‘Your best qualities’

Such a difficult question to write in words. I see myself as a selfless, motivated and dedicated volunteer and employee. I see myself as a caring, honest and loving mom and partner. I just hope others see that as well.

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June 9: ‘Your top priorities’

Currently, my children. Providing for them and encouraging them to make their own decisions in life as they grow older.

I’m also hoping to get my house in a better state before getting ready to sell, after my youngest son finishes high school. That was my plan but sometimes extra money is needed to make changes and repairs and I may need to boost this up on my priority list if I want to complete it!

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June 10: ‘A new thing to try’

Cycling London’s bike paths. 

Dark Souls the Board Game. 

Coconut milk ice cream.

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June 11: ‘Where were you a year ago?’

Pretty much in the same place as I am today. Although I wasn’t looking for a new job opportunity and I was still paying off debt payments (which I’ve since completed). I’m still in the same fantastic relationship and still taking care of my two amazing boys. Some things don’t have to change, right?

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June 12: ‘Where were you five years ago?’